When you’re living in the moment, your focus is on that moment only. The past and the future can’t touch you.
It can be a difficult task to put your feelings about the past or future aside. It’s like when someone says, “Don’t think of a pink elephant!” Did you think of one, just now?
Well, your grief is sometimes that pink elephant and it seems like there’s nowhere to turn. In this situation, you can look for help from present moment thinking.
Remaining in the present takes practice. While you’re learning how to live in the moment, remember that it gets easier as time goes on.
Using Meditation
You can work on controlling your thoughts, but one practice that’s all about staying in the present moment is meditation. This simple exercise can also help you get over your grief.
Here are some meditation tips:
- Make a meditation schedule – 30 minutes per day every day.
- Go to a place where you can relax and be alone.
- Sit in a position with good posture.
- Take deep breaths in and out.
- You can use a “mantra” or positive affirmation to help you focus.
- When thoughts arise, acknowledge them, and then let them go.
The most difficult thing you might encounter when learning to meditate is calming your busy mind. Focusing on your breathing helps clear away extraneous thoughts and worries.
When you’re grief stricken, it’s an especially difficult time to keep a clear mind. Thoughts of the past will more than likely keep coming up in your practice. This is normal. As you continue practicing, it will get easier to focus on the now.
An important thing to remember is to avoid judging yourself. Don’t punish yourself for thinking of the past when you’re trying not to think about it. Realize that your mind is taking a turn you didn’t intend, and then lightly nudge it back in the right direction. Be grateful that you were able to catch yourself in the midst of a negative thought, and then move on.
Keeping Up Your Practice
Once you’ve adopted a philosophy of present moment thinking, concentrate on keeping up with your practice. Rather than a mechanism you turn to only when you’re in a pinch, consistent present moment thinking can bring you an exhilarating new lifestyle!
When you learn to live in the moment, you’ll find peace and happiness in life. You’ll be more calm and collected and enjoy every moment for what it is. How amazing is this!
Moment By Moment
As your practice deepens, you’ll fully realize that life is just a series of moments. It’s not a definable measure of time, but you’ll feel many moments in every minute. Little by little, you’ll learn to recognize them.
You may find it difficult to remain in the present just because you must refer to the past and plan for the future in order to live. This is true, of course, but once the reflection is over, and the planning is put away, your goal is to remain in the moment as much as possible.
- Refer to the past when you must, but avoid reliving grief or daydreaming.
- Plan for the future, but don’t obsess over it.
- Simply look at what you’re experiencing right now and immerse yourself in it.
When your mind is completely focused on the present moment, you’ll be surprised at how energizing life can be!
Trusting your inner instincts is an important skill to learn, although there are times when your mind can play tricks on you. When your body and mind are under stress, it may be difficult to see the difference between good thoughts and those that arise from fear.
Dealing With Fear
No one enjoys dealing with fear; however, it’s a necessary part of a fulfilled life. The best line of defense is to practice remaining calm and ask for help when you need it. After all, two minds striving for a rational solution is usually better than one.
When Not To Trust Your Thoughts
Even in difficult circumstances, you probably have an idea about what is truly right or wrong. However, it’s a good idea to try to recognize the situations where you tend to have trouble thinking clearly. That way, when these situations do come up, you can start working on solutions, instead of giving into the cloudy thoughts.
You probably shouldn’t trust your thoughts in the following situations:
- When you’re under stress – People often don’t recognize how detrimental stress can be to the mind and body. Stress can cause you to make unwise decisions and think too quickly. Stress can take over your body and produce hormones that alter your thinking patterns.
- When you’re feeling anxious – There are varying degrees of anxiety that can affect anyone at any time. When it takes over in a strong manner, such as when you’re dealing with crippling fear, it can lead to erratic, irrational thoughts or even panic.
- When you’re having negative thoughts – Sometimes you’ll have a bad day or even a bad week. Having a tough time can cause a negative thinking pattern that can cause you to think unreasonable or even absurd thoughts. You may start to have angry or depressing thoughts that can’t be trusted.
When you’re having thoughts that seem real, but are rather unreasonable, remember that it’s not coming from you. Rather, it’s coming from the build up and repression of years of self-doubt, negativity, stress, anxiety, or even past circumstances. That’s precisely why you cannot trust those thoughts!
Dealing With Your Feelings
You now know that negative thought patterns can arise from stress, anxiety, fear or even the past. Crippling fear, unfortunately, hurls many strongly negative feelings your way. But it’s how you deal with them and proceed with your thought patterns that make all the difference. Strive to take time to cool down and relax your mind before making important decisions.
One way to know if something is your true feeling is to wait a few days before making a decision. For example, if after a week of thinking something over, you still think the same way, then it’s probably true. Of course, you first have to ensure that your mind isn’t under attack from stress, anxiety, negativity, or fear.
Healing From Fear
If you find that you’re frequently in fearful situations, you can concentrate on healing those feelings. When your mind begins to race, take in a large dose of oxygen. Believe it or not, deep breathing is a signal for your mind to relax and think clearly. So breathe deeply and breathe often!
Also remember that you’re not alone. You have people who can help you and you shouldn’t feel shy to ask for that help. If you feel uncomfortable talking with a family member or friend, consider the help of a coach or counselor.
Just remember to avoid taking drastic actions that arise from fear. Take your time when making decisions, breathe deeply, and seek the help you need to overcome the grips of fear.
