Wings of Change – Change Your Life Articles

Learning to let go and forgive is a noble act. It can help you have peace with yourself and others. However great the benefits, though, it’s not always an easy thing to achieve.

Small transgressions are easy to forgive and forget. But then there are the big things for which you may feel the need to cling onto. You might tell yourself that you’ve let it go, but ultimately you haven’t. In these tough situations, there are techniques that you can use to finally let go and find peace.

Learning to Forgive

It’s important to learn to forgive. Holding onto grudges or resentments only hurts you. It can lead to bad moods, depression, or even health conditions. When you hold onto resentment, you allow a situation to burden your future.

Forgiveness is the right choice to make, but it doesn’t mean that you’ve forgotten what has happened. You might even still hold someone else accountable for the wrong. With forgiveness, you’re simply making the decision to move on with your life.

It means that, while you might not ever completely forget the pain, you’ll still be able to live your daily life without it. And when you see the person who has wronged you, you won’t immediately think of or bring up the situation.

How to Forgive

There’s no set rule on how you should approach forgiveness. However, you may know deep down when it’s time to forgive. When you realize that you’ve been replaying a situation in your head over and over, it’s time to let it go and forgive.

In order to forgive, you also need to allow a change to take place in your life. Find the compassion within to make peace with the past. You’ll feel the change in your heart as you let the resentment go and make room for positive feelings.

This can be especially difficult if the person you’re dealing with seems resistant to change or doesn’t even care about your forgiveness. In this situation, remember that you’re searching for peace for yourself. It isn’t about making the other person feel better; it’s about making you feel better.

Letting Go

Once you’ve found it in your heart to forgive, it’s time to work on letting go. This step can be so difficult, yet it’s the most important. Letting go simply means that you’re not fighting battles in your mind anymore.

One way to let go is to adopt the attitude of a present moment thinker or forward thinker. You’ll want to spend as much time as you can to truly experience life in the moment.

It’s when the past and negative thinking creep up that problems are likely to occur. When this happens, do whatever is in your power to ease your mind. You’ll find that as time goes by, things do get easier to deal with when it comes to situations involving forgiveness.

Remember that letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself. You certainly don’t enjoy holding onto anger and resentment, so why continue? Ask yourself if those feelings are really serving a purpose for you. Then make the choice to forgive and forget. You’ll be glad you did!

Do you struggle to keep your New Year’s resolutions? More than likely, the excitement of starting a New Year wanes away and you find yourself back into your old routines.

With proper motivation and the will to change, you can be the exception to this trend. The trick is to turn your optimism for the New Year into concrete actions. Once you start a routine, it becomes easier to follow through.

Whether you’re making multiple resolutions or wanting to work towards one bigger goal, be sure to pick something that’s achievable within the year’s time frame.

Set Achievable and Clear Goals

Strive for making your goals achievable so you don’t set yourself up for future failure. For example, let’s say your goal is to lose weight. Determine where you stand currently, and then give yourself a goal that can be achieved following the 1-2 pounds per week guideline.

You’ll also benefit from making clear goals. Rather than saying that you want to be thinner, say how many pounds you’d like to lose. Then define the “how” as well. Are you going to follow a specific diet? How are you going to cut calories? Are you going to start a moderate exercise routine? How often?

With a clear, achievable goal and a set plan of tasks you know you can complete, you virtually guarantee your success! You know exactly what you want and how you’re going to get there. All you need to do now is take action.

Take Action

Taking action is usually where people tend to run into some trouble. It’s easy to get pumped up about an idea, but when it comes down to executing your plan, you might be tempted to fall short.

In this situation, you only need to muster up the energy to start. Tell yourself that you’re going to stick to your new plan for one week and then evaluate how it went. On the other hand, if you take everything in all at once, you’ll be less likely to begin in the first place. If it looks overwhelming, just focus on the short term.

Form a Routine

The reason you want to take baby steps at first is because once you form a new routine, it’s actually easy to hold yourself to it. Some say that it takes as little as two weeks to get a new routine engrained in your brain.

For example, in the weight loss scenario, starting an exercise routine can be especially grueling if you’re out of shape. The first two days can leave you tired, sore, and weak. That doesn’t sound like fun at all! However, those first two days are the worst you’ll endure. After your routine is built, you may find that you look forward to your exercise sessions.

Reward Yourself

Reward yourself often for your excellent efforts because you deserve it for working hard to change yourself for the better. You don’t need to wait until the end of the year to treat yourself.

Break up your goals into smaller pieces and every time you achieve a milestone, give yourself something that you enjoy. It could be an item you’ve been wanting or maybe a night out on the town.

Rewarding yourself for a job well done motivates you to keep going!

Do It Again!

After your first successful year of bettering yourself through New Year’s resolutions, you can then repeat the process and work on another aspect of your life. Before you know it, you’ll be a perfectly happy and healthy person because of your awareness, perseverance, and hard work!

Once you begin your journey into meditation, you’ll soon discover the power that it has to reveal truth and peace in your life. In a fast paced world where everything keeps getting faster and more complicated, it’s important to deepen your practice with meditation.

With regular practice you’ll find that you’ll be able to go deeper into meditation without much effort. As you practice, you’ll be better able to deal with distractions and achieve a certain depth of meditation in a shorter period of time. If you practice for just 30 minutes per day, you’ll be able to go deeper each time.

Deepening Your Practice

You may be wondering what it means to deepen your practice. It’s definitely a topic that’s difficult to put into mere words. It’s similar to talking about how to deepen your love. If you’ve been in love you’ll know in your heart what it feels like to experience the depth of love. The same is true when you meditate, you’ll know what it feels like as your practice deepens.

Tactics For Deepening Your Practice

If you want to go beyond regular practice to deepen your meditation skills, you can try these other tactics.

Consider these suggestions as you deepen your practice:

1. Focus. A big part of deepening your practice is working on an improved focus. Find something that works for you.
   • First try experiencing eyes open meditation. Meditate with a small focal point and don’t let your gaze go astray during your session. You can also try eyes open meditation without the need for a strict focal point; this may help you to keep your focus within.
   • Alternatively, you can explore the option of eyes closed meditation. Many people enjoy the aspect of shutting out the visual sense, while others think it’s too much of an escape from true life, so do what feels right.
2. Your breath. Your breath is also a part of your focus. It’s how you break up your life into a series of moments. Take a moment to breathe in the good and a moment to exhale the bad. In order to deepen your practice, experiment with different breathing techniques.
   • Work on the length of your breaths. Some people decide to work with their moods when they work on breath length. It’s a way to just go with how you feel, instead of deciding on a set pattern of breathing.
   • Use a mantra. There are many mantras to choose from or you can even create your own depending on how you feel or what you like.
3. Your posture. Your posture also has an impact on how deep your practice will go. Choose a position that’s comfortable for you.
   • During sitting meditation, it’s always a good idea to maintain good posture. This means: Don’t slouch! The location of your legs usually doesn’t matter as much.
   • If you maintain a good posture without hunching over, you tend to maintain your alertness and you’ll be less likely to fall asleep. Remember that your goal is to remain in the present moment and not merely to relax.

Keep Up Your Practice

The most important thing you need to do is keep up with your practice. You can then tweak any other aspect of meditation that you feel needs adjusting. However, you may find that you simply evolve without much effort as you continue your meditative journey.

Dealing with conflict is hardly ever easy, but there are healthy and productive ways of getting through it. Conflict resolution goes to the heart of your communication skills. This means that it’s something that might come naturally to some people, while others will struggle.

The good news is that you can strengthen your skills in this area. With some effort on your part, you can make your life easier as well as communicate on a deeper level with those around you.

Here are a few strategies you can use to better deal with conflict:

1. Recognize differing opinions. Conflict generally arises when people fail to recognize or understand a differing opinion in another person.
   • If you’re mediating a conflict between two people, tell them to put themselves in the other person’s shoes.
   • If you’re in the middle of a conflict, take the time to truly listen to what the other person is saying and try to see where they’re coming from in the situation.
2. Work on communication. How many times have you found yourself dealing with conflict because of a miscommunication issue? Communicating effectively in the first place prevents many conflicts from ever developing.
   • Remember that communication is a two way street, so practice both your verbal and listening skills.
3. Allow everyone to speak. It’s vital that everyone involved in the conflict has a chance to speak. There will be no true resolution if everyone’s needs are not heard and met. It would turn out to be a band-aid solution and only a matter of time before the conflict reared its ugly head once again.
4. Stay calm. This is one of the most important keys to expressing yourself in a healthy fashion. When conflicts arise, things can get quickly heated if you don’t make a conscious effort to stay calm. Emotions start flying and you may say something you later regret.
   • If telling yourself to stay calm isn’t effective, take a break and let emotions cool down before you return to any conflict resolution.
5. Talk about mistakes. Everyone knows that people make mistakes because it’s human nature. However, it also seems to be human nature to fight acceptance of those mistakes. Conflicts often arise from mistakes, so it’s best to be upfront about them.
   • Identify the mistake that led to the conflict.
   • What was the intention behind the mistake? In many cases, the person causing the mistake didn’t intend for it to happen.
   • Work on forgiveness and setting things right again.
6. Discuss resolution. Every conflict needs a solution. The best resolutions involve a win-win scenario for everyone. However, remember that everyone may not be completely happy with the solution. In this case, ensure that everyone at least accepts the compromise and is at peace with it.
7. Learn from it. Resolving conflicts can result in some valuable life lessons. Discuss what each of you has learned from this conflict, and then leave it behind to move forward to better things.

Once a conflict has been resolved in a healthy manner, it’s good to identify the steps you took in order to achieve a resolution. Your successful process may help you in the future when you need to manage conflict again.

You can help the world by being kind to yourself. Some believe that you must be completely selfless and put other people and things above yourself in order to spend your time in a worthwhile way. But this isn’t always the case.

When you’re kind to yourself, you can actually spread that kindness to others in a viral way.

Work Out Your Own Issues First

If you constantly ignore your own wants and needs, you’ll eventually become stressed out and frustrated. You simply can’t go about life ignoring what you truly want. You can tell yourself that you’re doing it for the good of the world, but in the end it’ll be quite the opposite.

If you’re stressed out, others will notice, even if you think you’ve bottled it up inside. There are subtle hints that you give away. Your muscles may be tense, or you might even have a nervous tick. You also could be distracted and noticeably distraught during times where you would have normally participated socially.

You may think that it’s no big deal, but it really can be. People can pick up on a negative or nervous mentality, and become stressed out themselves!

Have you ever been around someone who’s clearly enjoying life with a big smile and relaxed nature? Their attitude is infectious, isn’t it? You’ll probably end up enjoying your day a whole lot more just because you encountered this person.

Remember that the opposite is also true. If you act negatively, you may end up sending someone home in a bad mood even though you never intended it.

Spreading The Spirit

Once you’ve worked out your personal issues, you can then pass on a positive spirit to the world. You can do this without even trying. Go about your day in a positive light, and you may find that you’re joyous mood spreads to everyone, even the lady at the checkout counter at the local store.

You can also consciously and actively spread around a good spirit. Pass out sincere compliments to both friends and strangers. Tell your friends and family what they really mean to you. They’ll appreciate hearing it.

You may also find that these actions make you feel good in the process. It’s just another way that a simple gesture can help you to spread joy to the world.

New Ideas

If you’re up to it, you can take everything to yet another level. Brainstorm new ideas and activities that you find personally enjoyable and also help others as well.

With some creative thinking, you’ll probably think of several things that fall within your personal skill set that can benefit the world.

• For example, if you enjoy carpentry or other house building skills, join your local chapter of Habitat For Humanity and spend time with them on your weekends.

• If you enjoy environmentally friendly activities, engage in them in your free time. You can also spread an awareness of these activities to your friends and colleagues.

Feeling like you’ve made a positive difference can help you feel great about yourself!

Your True Self

Your job is to find your true self. Just that act alone does a lot for helping the world. You can inspire others to find their true selves and the world will be a happier place for all you come into contact with.

Effective communication is one of the keys to success, and when you’re good at it, people notice.

Most people think that strengthening communication skills involves developing persuasive speech and conversational skills, but what you may not realize is just how important effective listening can be.

Without an effective listener, none of your conversational skills would matter. This is because your points – no matter how clear – still wouldn’t be heard or understood.

Remember that listening is a full 50% of the communication effort so it’s worth your time to develop this precious skill, too.

Here are some techniques you can use to build your listening skills:

1. Fight the urge to speak. Sometimes when you’re engaged in a heated conversation, you start to concentrate on what you’re going to say next. You may even be tempted to open your mouth before the other person is finished. Make the extra effort to keep your lips sealed until they’re through talking.
   • While they’re speaking, don’t worry about what you’re going to say or how you’re going to say it. Instead, focus on the words and body language of the other person.
     
2. Look interested. Your nonverbal communication skills are important while you’re listening. If you’re looking disinterested and uncaring, the person trying to communicate with you will likely pick up on these subtle hints. They may be flustered or less likely to share their thoughts. Makes sense, right?
   • Engage with the person talking. Make eye contact and nod your head or smile. Let your conversation partner know that their points are coming across to you.
3. Repeat the highlights. One way to literally tell your conversation partner that they’re effectively communicating is to simply restate their points. You can repeat key phrases in an affirming tone. You can even give them a quick summary of what they just said in your own words.
   • Avoid sharing your opinions when repeating their concepts or ideas. At this point, you simply want to communicate that you’ve completely understood their meaning.
4. Ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask your conversation partner to elaborate on what they’re saying. If you need further information, then ask for it. The important thing is that you understand what they’re trying to get across.
5. Be patient. It’s also important to maintain patience, especially when working with people who may be shy or may not have the ability to communicate very well. If you’re not patient, you may end the conversation prematurely or scare off your conversation partner.
6. Follow your partner’s lead. Being an effective listener doesn’t mean that your only job is to listen. You can certainly add to the conversation, too. At the same time, you don’t want to overpower the conversation. Add your input when they ask for it or when they’ve finished their point.

Remember that practice makes perfect. After you’ve had an important conversation, ask yourself what you remember from the conversation. Write down the details if necessary. Did you allow the other person to do most of the talking?

When you fight the urge to dominate conversations, you’ll be able to truly hear what people have to say!

Your attitude about life is one of the most important factors for success. A bad attitude gets you nowhere, while a good one can provide you with enough motivation to succeed beyond your dreams.

You may think that you already have a success-mindset, and perhaps you do. However, you can always benefit from strengthening that attitude and therefore increasing your chances for the success you deserve.

Follow these strategies for improving your attitude for success:

1. Find your inspiration. Discover what inspires you the most and use it to jumpstart your motivation whenever you go. Feeling inspired enables you to maintain the drive necessary to find success. Do anything you can within your power to find inspiration.
   • Make a list of your ultimate dreams, and then ask yourself if you’re on the right path. If you are, you’ll know that everything you’re doing will be rewarded.
   • If you don’t feel like you’re on the right path, perhaps it’s time for a change. Maybe there’s a deeper reason why you’ve felt a lack of motivation. Reflect on what this reason might be, and then decide on how you can renew your drive. When you’re on the right journey, you’ll feel inspired!
2. Surround yourself with positive people. When you’re around positive and inspiring people, you’re more likely to adopt those traits into your own personality and go for your goals with enthusiasm. Negative people, on the other hand, tend to make you negative also.
   • If you must be around people that continually bring you down, do your best to avoid taking what they say to heart. You know that they don’t speak the truth. Keep the peace as best as you can to get through these situations and then move on.
3. Take a leap. The best way to improve your attitude might be to just jump right into life. Don’t be afraid to take initiative and plunge forward towards your goals. People who take action find success. If you take action and start to see the results of your efforts, your attitude will only improve.
   • The increased drive and motivation you get from your actions can be the difference between success and failure.
4. Strengthen your focus. Your focus can also play a role in your attitude. When you maintain driven toward success, it’s easier to have an optimistic attitude. If you have a lack of focus and don’t know where you’re going, it leads to being unmotivated and uncaring.
5. Allow for mistakes. You’re only human and you will make mistakes from time to time. Be careful to avoid judging yourself harshly when this happens, as it negatively affects your self-confidence. If you work on more of a “go with the flow” attitude, you’ll find that you’re able to pick yourself back up and continue moving forward when you do make a mistake.

The main things to keep in mind are that the combo of inspiration, positive thoughts, and proper motivation can lead you to a healthy and positive attitude. Follow these strategies daily and you’ll notice a boost in your spirits!

There are many avenues to explore when it comes to discovering your life purpose. Unfortunately, though, nobody else can find it for you. Since your life purpose is unique from anyone else’s, it’s a mission that you – and only you – can complete.

In your quest for passion, concentrate on enjoying the journey itself. Sometimes when you stop stressing about your life’s purpose, it falls into your lap!

Here are some ways you can discover your life purpose:

1. Write about how you feel. Try journaling with a pen and paper, or grab your laptop and just start writing. Write about how you truly feel and what you want out of life. Remember that no one is going to read this other than you, so don’t be afraid to express your thoughts.
   • Go back and reread your entries every so often. Many times this process can bring you new realizations that you didn’t think of when you were writing it in the first place.
2. Pursue your passions. If you’re passionate about a certain subject, maybe you can make a career or hobby out of it so that you can engage in activities that are personally meaningful to you. This way, each day of your life will feel like it matters and you will have a life purpose.
3. Consider your talents. Think about the areas in which you naturally excel and see if you can turn these skills into something meaningful for you.
   • Many people are drawn to a life purpose that makes them feel like they’re making a true difference in the lives of other people. You may find it fulfilling to be using something you’re good at to help others that are in need.
   • For example, if you find that you’re good at comforting people, perhaps you can consider a career as a counselor.
4. Converse with inspiring people. Strike up a conversation with someone who inspires you. While you might not be interested in the same things, you can talk about how they discovered their life purpose. Their triumphs and struggles will make good lessons for you in your journey to your purpose.
5. What brings you joy? Reflect on the moments in your life when you’re most happy. What are you doing at these times? You can start the quest for your life purpose by using what already makes you happy.
   • Maybe you’re most happy when you’re just sitting at home with your family. That’s a wonderful gift!
   • Remember that you’re not necessarily searching for something exotic! After all, your life purpose may already be under your nose.
6. Embrace change. Sometimes the thing that holds you back from self-discovery is a fear of change. There’s comfort and safety in not taking risks, but you also may never discover your life’s true purpose. Learn to embrace change because life is constantly changing around you.
7. Uphold your values. Everyone has a set of values that they tend to adhere to in life. You can use your values as a starting point to discovering you life purpose. Make a list of your values with your most important ones at the top. Think about what you can do to honor those values in life every day and you may find your purpose.

Finding your purpose in life may not be as hard as you think. Use these strategies on your journey and one day soon you’ll realize that you’ve found the one feature of your life that makes everything worthwhile.

You’ve heard the expression that a little can go a long way, and there’s no exception when it comes to showing your appreciation. Learning how to express your gratitude will enable you to enjoy improved communication and more fulfilling relationships.

While a grand gesture is always nice and has a time and place, simple gestures are habits that you can add to your everyday routine. It’s important not to keep all of your love and appreciation stuck inside your head. Instead, let it out and you’ll give meaning, purpose, and joy to everyone around you!

Try the following simple gestures to express your gratitude:

1. Talk more. Make your thoughts known. Your simple gestures of appreciation can be at the office, at home, with your kids, with your partner, and more. When you verbalize how you feel in a positive manner, it can make all the difference in a person’s day.
   • If you think of a compliment, give the compliment. It’s simple and it works.
2. Give a card out of the blue. Give friends, family, colleagues, or your partner a sincere card or note. There’s something extra special about getting a message when you aren’t expecting one. Plus they make nice keepsakes.
3. Go out of your way. Take a moment to think of something you can do each day or every once in awhile that’s above and beyond. Taking even a small burden off your loved one’s shoulders shows that you care.
   • For example, if your spouse is usually the one who handles the laundry, surprise them and take care of it.
4. Develop your listening skills. Practice being truly aware of what you’re told when people are speaking to you. You’ll likely commit certain bits of information to long-term memory. You’ll be surprised at how happy you can make someone simply because you remembered something they told you.
5. Show affection. When it comes to affection for your loved ones, some simple affection can go a long way. Bring more hugs and kisses into the relationship. Chances are everyone could use more “I love you’s” in their lives.
6. Consider a handmade gift. When it comes time for gift giving, consider a handmade gift. It doesn’t have to be something expensive or complex as long as it’s coming from the heart. These gifts are often the most cherished of all.
7. Cook something. If you’re showing appreciation to your family, plan a special meal one day. Maybe try something you haven’t tried before, or go for an old family favorite. If you’re showing appreciation for another group of people, consider bringing them some baked goods. A cupcake or a brownie just might brighten someone’s day!
8. Always say “Thank You.” You’ve learned to say please and thank you to strangers and the people in your life shouldn’t be an exception. It’s easy to fall into a pattern where we take others for granted. Make it a habit to always thank people for anything they’ve done for you, even for simple things like holding the door.

Live a Life of Gratitude

If you continue to live your life in the presence of gratitude, it won’t be difficult to maintain simple gestures of appreciation. When you concentrate on the needs of the people you love and fight the urge to fall into predictable patterns, you’ll set yourself up for a happy life. Those around you will always remember your positive gestures!